I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
