4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize