My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Who died my cat blue again?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
