I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
