Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
