I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
