I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
we should paint friendship bongs
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize