On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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