He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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