quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
