Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
