Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
