Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
