I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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