when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
