I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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