So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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