Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
