Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
