Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
