You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize