I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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