Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
