you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
