OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
