so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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