Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
