are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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