the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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