Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
