she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
he fucked my hip out of place.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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