your thong is hanging out like whoa
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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