Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
