Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
