life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
