Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
