ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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