I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
