I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
