I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
