Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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