He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
