how do flat chested girls get laid?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
