Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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