so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
