He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
