you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I think I am morally bankrupt
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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