Can i not drive my cunt home
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
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