What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
