Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
id be glad to
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
