Well apparently he's into motor boating.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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