it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
