Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
