With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
