So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize