I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
