and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
