Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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