Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
