He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
