Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
