IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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