Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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