Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
