Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
