One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
