This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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