Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
